i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
