Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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