i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
