Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize