Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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