Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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