Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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