Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
