i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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