I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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