Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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