I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
