How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
