He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
