also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
