I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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