it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
