Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize