The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
