the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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