That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
