I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
