But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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