too bad you live with your parents still
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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