my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
