All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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