Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
