you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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