He is such a slut. More and more my type.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
