On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
