I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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