JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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