thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize