Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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