Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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