Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
