watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
