Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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