you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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