Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
