I need help removing her.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
