I didn't shave. On purpose
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i need some magic done to my vagina
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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