grandma shit on top of the toilet
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
