would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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