Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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