Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
