I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
