I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
