the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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