i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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