He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
