She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize