oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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