My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
