K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
love makes seman taste better
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize