Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
