Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
