I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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