You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
