I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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