Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You need a sexual gate keeper
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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