don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
