yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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