God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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