i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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