you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
