Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
