I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
