It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
