A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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